your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We smell like vodka and hangover
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