This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize