You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
