Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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