I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize