i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
