That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This is classic penis vs brain.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
