he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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