He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
