Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
