I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
