AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
