youre lurking in front of me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
