you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
