He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
