I got chris browned last night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
