Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
