North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
