Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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