please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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