...so i touched it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
