i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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