She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
