He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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