well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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