the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
