Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
