I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
