Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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