So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
