and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize