I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
