I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I still have a little drunk in my system
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
