he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
