just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize