every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
