If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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