Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
