WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
