I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
