Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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