Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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