That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can you bring me the toilet please
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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