I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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