Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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