He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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