Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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