Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I am morally bankrupt
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
