Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
