So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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