I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
