He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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