Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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