Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize