I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize