No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
