Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
