I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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