So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
