She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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