Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize