We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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