yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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