Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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