Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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