Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
