Nicole vs. Life
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
