would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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