Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
